My Chick Bad

We were able to see good ol’ Marshal Dillion’s today in the daylight. In real life. Boy was it interesting. Mr. Bartender Cody approached the table and was like “Great to see you guys in the daytime!” Porches appeared. Arcades? Tables? WHITE PEOPLE? What was with White Barn in the daytime? Complete polar opposite of fun life.

Oh, and school life is ending. I’ve already taken two finals, and I’ve got two more to go. So happy that MUSI 2573 & ECON 1113 are done for life. That’s Introduction to Music & Social Issues Economics for those of you not familiar with OSU course prefixes and numberfuntimes. Only GEOG 2253 (World Regional Geog.) and ENGL 1413 (Critical Analysis & Writing II, affectionately referred to as “Anal”) remain. I have five words for those finals: I WILL TAKE YOU DOWN.

Duuuuuuuuuude it’s Cinco de Mayo! It’s college. Put two and two together. FUNLIFE IS HAPPENING TONIGHT.

I took this picture while driving around Tulsa. Two things to mention: 1) I really LOVE this area of Tulsa. Since I’m not familiar with the neighborhoods, I’m just going to call it “South Peoria Near Pei Wei” since, well, you get it. I love it because the trees were abundant and lush, and there was a FREAKING PEI WEI nearby. I could totally live here. I also love this picture because 2) I want that VW bus. It’s my dream to own/drive one. I’d love one in light blue, but I’d be more than happy with an orange. I’ll go for yellow too, as made famous by the Little Miss Sunshine-mobile.

I’m also very very very very sad that I can’t have any cliquenights, cliquebed, cliquesleep, cliquestudy, cliquepool, clique-sit-in-jessica’s-room-and-“watch-the-thunder-game”. Jmo is leaving for Dallas/Flower Mound/South Carolina/wherever the hell she lives, and K$ is off to the great ATL. I’ll be mucho sad for the next three months without the CLIQUE. I’m serious. NO CLIQUE FOR THREE MONTHS. I AM GOING TO DIE.

Thank God I’ll be in Stillwater for another month with my other best friends. ­čÖé Landonian & Tors. YESSSSSSSSSSSS.

Also, in four days, my BBF will be here and I get to go to SanAn! And the Big D! And see Jmo! So FUCK YEAH, DUDE.

Now get yourself a bottle and get TRODD up!

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Rock Your Body

Where to begin?

Today has been oddly pensive, contemplative, productive, lazy, and depressing day. The only reason I haven’t broken down yet is because I’m wearing shorts. Shorts. If I’m wearing shorts, I’m usually pretty happy. Not saying I’m a nudist, but the less clothes I have to wear, the better, only because that means the weather is nicer, and I can spend more of my time outside. (Wanna dance with no pants on? Holla!)

Anyways, to really update this lame thing, I’ve had an epiphany today. It came from four different sources: 1) my best friend calls me this morning on the phone and cries and yells at me, 2) a message from a good friend asking me about Ellie Goulding, 3) my other best friend calling me over and over while I’m in the shower, and 4) the state of my dorm room. It’s a complete mess. Well, was. Until I did a deep cleaning of it. Which, is still a work-in-progress, but it’s getting there.

I feel like I owe the world an apology. Not a broad apology, but everyone needs to hear something different from me, since I’ve come to realize many things have stemmed from a personality defect of mine that I’m working on.

Katie, I’m sorry for not being there when you’ve needed me, and making you feel abandoned as our parents pack up for California.
Nicole, I’m sorry for not communicating with you enough, and for breaking the promises I’ve made about keeping our friendship the number one priority in my life.
Caitlin, I’m sorry for coming to your place, pouring out my feelings and troubles, and leaving your dorm room a mess.
Tori, I’m sorry for making you feel that it’s entirely your fault that things are happening, when in fact I’ve needed someone to talk to.
Krystyna, I’m sorry for not returning and appreciating the favors.
Sam, I’m sorry the situation had to get out of hand.
Jen & Alicia, I’m sorry for taking more than my share.
Brendan, I’m sorry that I’ve made you into a complete ass because if simple jealousy of you & Nicole, and for treating you as such.
Jessica, I’m sorry I’ve gotten choked up on social situations.
Mom & Dad, I’m sorry for hiding so so much from you, and having you find out things in the worst possible ways, and for constantly asking you for money.
Michael, I’m sorry that we don’t hang out as much as we need to.
Jenny, I’m sorry for not coming to your room enough at odd times of the night to talk and give you hugs.
Landon, I’m sorry that you have to live with me next year.
Andrew, I’m sorry for scaring you in Dallas with my Paranormal Activity episode.
Everyone in Poway/San Diego, I’m sorry for not keeping in touch with you all.
Taylor, I’m sorry that we don’t see each other as much as I’d like.
Ashley, I’m sorry for unintentionally leading you on and ditching you.
Ashli, I’m sorry you had you leave me like this.

There’s a lot more I want to say to these people, and a lot more I want to say to others. This blog can only hold so much.

I’ve been selfish. I’ve been conceited. I’ve been egotistical. I’ve been messy. I’ve been irresponsible. I’ve been dishonest. I’ve been unavailable. I’ve been unfair. I’ve been so many things that I don’t want to be. It’s just come out like this.

Things need to change. That’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to stop running away from things and hiding myself in my room for hours-on-end so I can sit here and be “fuming” and “calming down.”

I’m beginning the changing process by reaching out to those that I need to, starting right this second. I’m not going to sit here and be miserable and not enjoy life in Stillwater because of stupid problems and my uncontrollable personality.

When this year started, I set myself five resolutions. I’ve been following through with three of them, but the two most important, I’ve shrugged off. I’m going to accomplish those.

I’m spending the next seven weeks here in Stillwater, and then beginning with that next week, I’ll be spending my summer in five different places, two being Edmond and Stillwater. Two more will be other states, and the remaining in another country. It will be an interesting year, 2010. You’ve already proved to have a lot in store for me, and have thrown me any obstacles. Now it’s time to overcome them.

Let the New Decade Commence!


I want to personally wish anyone who reads this madness a Happy New Year! Let the new decade commence, as I have a feeling that 2010 will be a good year for us all. Blywddyn newydd dda!

I spent my NYE celebration in the always-poppin’ Bricktown & Downtown Oklahoma City. With my good friend Taylor, we hit up the Red Dirt Emporium, the Red Dirt Improv (what was with red dirt?), and of course, the Oklahoma City Women’s Roller Derby. It was a sight to see, we even had a girl from the OKC team spin out and come flying toward us.

Then after the march into Downtown, we kicked off the new year right with an insane fireworks show and live music. It was great. I swear, though, that those fireworks went on for 45 minutes. Then we hi-tailed it out of there, jumping into Carrie the Corolla and cruising back to lovely Edmond for the festivities at home, which consisted of Fergie stealing our salsa, drooling over the hotness of the real world, and feeling festive with wine glasses. It sure was a night.

Then it occurred to me: I never made a New Years resolution! So I’ll do it now.

In 2010 I will appreciate life more.
In 2010 I will not be as uptight. I will let things go as they go.
In 2010 I will take more pictures.
In 2010 I will attend more concerts.
In 2010 I will live healthier.

Okay that’s more than one resolution, but I can handle it.

I’ve also learned that my parents believed that I have changed. According to them, I’ve been drinking all the time, maybe doing drugs, sleeping around, and blowing money left and right. I wish they would trust me, but I can see where they are coming from. I’m eighteen years old, I live on my own (sort of), I’m in an environment where all of these things are constantly around me, and not to mention there was a trust issue that happened right before I left, so that didn’t start things off very well. I’ve been making efforts to assure them that I’m being safe and not doing anything that I shouldn’t, but you know how parents are. Especially mine, if you’ve met them.

To move on to a happier note, my last day of work is tomorrow/today. Whatever you call Saturday, January 2nd. Then I’m going to Stillwater on Sunday, coming back on Monday and spending one final week in Edmond. Then I drive to Wichita on Saturday morning to pick up my lovely friend Krystyna, and then returning to Stilly to begin one more amazing semester at Oklahoma State.

Cheers to all. May your 2010 be filled with happiness, excitement, contentment, and health.

Taylor & I at Bricktown Opening Night 2010!

Goodbye, 2009!

I don’t know about you, but I am sure excited for the new year. Although 2009 could be said as one of the most exciting years of my life (high school graduation, moving to college, drill champs), it was also a time filled with grief,┬ádepression, desperation, lust, surgery, confusion, rage, and overall malemtions (yes, I am using that word again–it means mal-emotions, not male-motions).

So it’s just safe to say 2009 is a year I want to move on from. Yeah, it happened, it was alright, but 2010 is going to bring in a heck of a lot more opportunities to enjoy my life. I mean, I really don’t believe in “getting up on the wrong side of the bed.” The reality is: life is awesome. Being miserable is self-inflicted pain.

Laugh more. Love more. Leave behind those who bring you down. What purpose do they serve in your life? If they can’t be ridden of, reconcile. If they are stubborn, then move on. There’s no use in continually dragging yourself down and putting up with crap when you shouldn’t have to.

Appreciate who you have. There was a point in this year where I felt that I had lost everyone, and I was all alone. The truth was, I had lost one person. But I made too big of a deal out of it, I didn’t realize all of the people who are there for me, whom I fail to appreciate. I tried to make it a goal of mine at the end of the year to forget rebuilding relationships that aren’t worth it, but to build relationships that are already there. Acquaintances? Become friends. Friends? Become better friends. Best friends? Spend time with them. People are the reason why life is just amazing.

I’ll admit, Winter Break has been kind of sucky. The holidays were great, don’t get be wrong. Aside from the horrendous blizzard that ravaged this place on Christmas Eve, that was a great time I had with my family and loved ones. No, the reason break has been lame has been because of work, school, and all the usual. I’ve worked about eight hours a day at a job that’s just…meh. Plus taking a Winter class has added an extra stressor to life. Not awesome.

But I realize this: I love being in Edmond. I’m with my family. I’m at my house. I’m with my school friends. I’m in a town that has so much to offer to cure boredom. I’m making money. I’m getting ready for my London trip. So why complain? Many good things are coming out of break.

However, I am anxious as all hell to get back to Stillwater. Let 2010 begin! With friends, both old and new, acquaintances and best friends and friends of friends, let’s enjoy it. We are in our prime time. Let’s forget about all the crap in life and just enjoy everything there is. 2009 is a good reminder.

Or as a text from last night said…

(718): we need to drink 2009 down the drain

Well not really, but you know what I mean.

A Horse Is Not A Home

Oh God, I think I’m dying.

Look outside, someone’s waiting with a yellow horse.

With a hole in the heart, I was forced to ride in morning traffic.

With a golden hand by your fortress side, but without magic.

Somebody tell me it won’t be long, ’cause a horse is not a home.

Careers, Commons, La Roux, and Vitamin Water

Just remind me for the future: two jobs plus an intersession class = BAD IDEA for Winter Break.

My good good friend Krystyna has been helping me with a big problem in my life. Too bad she’s so far away right now and we can’t counsel each other. Only three more weeks until she returns to the great 405.

A weird feeling is waking up every day, thinking “Is this what I really want to be doing?” Career-wise, I am hoping to get my degree in Broadcast Production and I wish to work for a large media corporation (like the BBC, Clear Channel, etc.) as a producer or a presenter. Yet as my college days go on, I cannot help but wonder if that’s what I really want to do. High school was so simple: You just show up and take whatever classes the school told you to. College is a whole other ballgame. I don’t want to get into my senior year and realize that I don’t want to do Broadcasting. I’d rather…be a hotel manager. Or a high school science teacher. Or an entrepreneur. Or an urban planner.

A quick┬áside note: La Roux’s album is AMAZING.

How do you know really what you want to be? I had a good feeling about the radio industry, but now I’m feeling many many different directions, and absolutely no direction at all. One thought is just to withdraw from school, work a full-time service job while figuring it all out, then going to school and getting my degree in whatever. That doesn’t seem like a good idea to me.

But I don’t want to get into radio and realize it’s not what I want to do.

I’d rather be the new public relations specialist for Vitamin Water. I mean, they have a great PR campaign going on for them right now. I could do that.

Or I could just be a student forever. I mean I love learning. I’ll just keep racking up degrees and degrees, rack up the student loans, and then die. There we go.

I’m done for the night. I have more class work to do.

P.S. Mon Coeur S’ouvre ├Ç Ta Voix

I Threw It to the Ground!

Just to update on what happened after that last post, I went to pick up some friends at 4:30am and then we went to Whataburger. No sleep for me until 5:30. And I had class at 9:30. Holla.

So there were some issues back at home, getting me to decide to come home for the weekend. This is the first weekend since September 5th that there hasn’t been an OSU home football game, so it’s the perfect time to finally come home. I’ve had a great weekend so far, mostly it’s just been Katie & I goofing off and getting into loads of mischief. Plus I got to go to Borders, so you know I’m in the best mood ever.

For a status update on life…it’s going grand. I mean the problems here in Edmond weren’t all that great, but everything else has been great. The only thing that I don’t have right now that I miss/kind of want is romance, but at the same time I’m trudging along fine without it, so I’m not muffed.

I MIGHT GO TO LONDON THIS SUMMER!

Wanted to throw that in there. Hmm…what else? School is going alright. I knew that I just had to prioritize myself and I’d do alright, which is mostly true at the moment. Now just need to keep up this trend.

How boring of a post this is. I just wanted to remind you all that I’m still alive I guess. Take care. ­čÖé